Something that has been beating me over the head the last couple of months is an anxiety to be apart of the church choir. Those of you who know me, not my new Arkansas friends, know that this is bizarre. I was raised in a very talented musical family. I personally have been singing solo since I was 3 years old. I won a major recording contract in a competition. I have my own CD. And truly have a major obsession and love for music in general. I am a music freak! I love to sing to and for the Lord and his people. I started singing in our local church choir when I was 13 or 14 and that my far was the youngest person to ever do that in this particular congregation. I have NEVER had a fear of serving in this capacity. As a matter of a fact, it's a long standing joke that ever song is MY FAVORITE SONG. Every time I'd get up to lead music somewhere I would say, "This happens to be my favorite song" and then one day I got called on it and truly I could NOT ever pick ONE favorite song.
When Jeff and I moved to Kansas City I ached to be apart of their choir and never had enough guts to go and do it. The church was HUGE the choir seemed even bigger and they had a live orchestra and band(a large intimidation for a country girl)!! I had never been apart of such a luxury. When we came Springdale the first Sunday we attended church I FELL in LOVE. My heart was overwhelmed and I could not keep my arms still or in my lap. I knew that I HAD to get over myself and my anxiety and get involved. (Kim and the choir sang ...Well, I used every excuse and then I got the nerve and went. I want to remind some of you that it's way bigger than anything I'm used to. My desire has been to be apart of the Praise Team. I've felt intimidation, which isn't like me. I've been doing this exact thing all my life. My entire family has been stumbling over the fact that I've been nervous to even inquire about getting involved. So I've been singing off and on on Sunday mornings.
WELL, last night Chris Emert said somethings in choir that just absolutely convicted me! We aren't singing in the choir to find glory for ourselves, thus my selfishness and worry. I don't read music very well and he said, he didn't care. He even said that you don't have to be a great singer. Well then I started feeling really selfish and ridiculous! Right now we are going through a time of change and a bit of a struggle to rally our group after losing our leader. I don't think that I truly grasped and understood what an essential part of worship the music department and choir play. And I've been a professional in the music industry. WOW! Music is an obvious way to for us to relate and get in tune with God. And after hearing Chris speak to my and many others hearts lastnight I feel like it's an easy way for me serve the Lord. There is no reason why I shouldn't be putting in the time and effort and being there for my church. The choir is there to uplift people and to prepare their hearts for the word of the Lord.
So many people have a hard time finding a way to serve the Lord. And I have an obvious God given talent and I'm wasting it. So against all my fears I am going to make contact this week and tell someone about my interest and if I'm needed I will volunteer to face my fears and serve! Wish me luck!